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Bad Restaurant Reviews

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Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby Sakkarin » Sun Mar 11, 2018 2:46 pm

It was the line "The food was so bad, a nearby Yorkshire terrier started to look more appetising..." that drew me in, but I do love a really spiteful review, and this is one of the most damning I've read recently!

Anyone come across any similarly dismal reviews recently? Is Jay Rayner the master of the put-down?

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyl ... ant-review

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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby strictlysalsaclare » Sun Mar 11, 2018 3:36 pm

Ohhh, that was such a funny read, thank you Sakkarin. I could hear Jay Rayner's voice as I was reading it :lol:

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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby Gillthepainter » Sun Mar 11, 2018 4:03 pm

Tony just mentioned this review too, as he's muttering his way through computer news clicks.
Without pictures, there's sometimes room for doubt I guess, but not in this case. Looks and sounds awful.

We have a cafe similar in ideological "wellness" here in Cheltenham.
Our Ethos: Truth Honesty and Integrity. At the Kindness Cafe. https://kindness-and-co.com/menu/?v=79cba1185463

And the owner sits at a nearby table, and eavesdrops on customer comments and conversations ....... hmmmmmm

She will have heard me saying it was most odd to have bircher, with savoury micro herbs and root vegetables shavings on top.

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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby mark111757 » Sun Mar 11, 2018 5:12 pm

That review was absolutely hysterical. And by the sound of it, spot on as well. Surely the reviewer can't be the only one who thought like that.

If that was a dogs dinner, the dog made out well.

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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby Alexandria » Sun Mar 11, 2018 5:55 pm

Sakkarin,

:clap :clap :D :D :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Completely a humorous read surely ..

Not quite my cup of tea for starters, as though we like vegetables, neither of us, would consider ourselves vegetarian and surely not vegan ..


Have a lovely evening ..
Barcelona, soulful & spirited, filled with fine art, amazing architecture, profoundly steeped in culture & history, and it engages all your senses, and food fancies.

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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby Alexandria » Sun Mar 11, 2018 5:57 pm

Sakkarin,

:thumbsdown :thumbsdown

This was probably the worst review I have read in a long time ..


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby Stokey Sue » Sun Mar 11, 2018 9:26 pm

The Jay Rayner review is spot on.
I posted this else where

The food writer George Reynolds posted this menu on Twitter
The whole discussion is here (you don't have to be signed up to read and I found it very funny)

https://twitter.com/go_scriptor/status/969207913725284352

Here's the menu that started it off
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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby Alexandria » Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:59 am

It is nearly unbelievable .. :vomit :vomit :vomit :vomit :vomit

Weird Pasta, Standard Sauce

Standard Pasta, Weird Sauce


This is truly horrendous !
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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby Joanbunting » Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:28 pm

There is iea well known saying for those who say they enjoy eating there

Pretentious -----Moi?

Also reminds me of the column in Private Eye - Pseuds Corner

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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby jeral » Mon Mar 12, 2018 2:03 pm

mark111757 wrote:That review was absolutely hysterical. And by the sound of it, spot on as well. Surely the reviewer can't be the only one who thought like that.

If that was a dogs dinner, the dog made out well.

[my bold]

It became fashionable to claim to have a food intolerance when celebs purporting to have one were widely publicised and hence e.g. gluten intolerance became a new "must have". Jay Rayner hints at this early in his article. Joanbunting sums it up perfectly by "Pretentious, Moi?" :clap

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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby Rainbow » Tue Mar 13, 2018 2:54 am

A lot of people thought it was genuine, but reading Sue's link - the guy who posted it did say;

"I regret to inform you it is not, in a "factual" sense, real. Yet somehow we've all been there."

And it was apparently 'inspired' by this 'stereotypical Asian Fusion Restaurant Menu' which is also very funny!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DW_oYUrVoAAZKu-.jpg

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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby Stokey Sue » Tue Mar 13, 2018 12:06 pm

Oh yes, the menu is very much a spoof

I was wondering as I worked my through it, then I was sure when I got to "ennui"

It is vety typical of places round here, but shoukd perhaps have the word "heritage" in there

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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby Badger's Mate » Tue Mar 13, 2018 12:43 pm

perhaps have the word "heritage" in there


No, 'heritage' is just so last century...

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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby Sakkarin » Tue Mar 13, 2018 1:51 pm

"Heritage" - that term crops up on Masterchef all the time, usually in regard to carrots, and it usually means either they are burnt or they look like they've been mummified.

Image

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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby karadekoolaid » Thu Mar 15, 2018 1:44 am

:gonzo

Sakks - please do not post any more reviews like this one. :(

It took me ten minutes to get off the floor, where I was racked with hilarious fits, and another five minutes to wipe the tears from my eyes! :gonzo :gonzo :gonzo
The review was splendid. I think we should propose Jay Rayner for the next Nobel Prize in Literature!!

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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby Sakkarin » Thu Mar 15, 2018 3:27 pm

Ha!

I've not really appreciated Jay Ray in the past, but I think I may be warming to him!

He was on Masterchef the other day - anyone who saw it, has he put a huge amount of weight on recently? He seems a lot larger these days than I remember. Or was I just not paying attention?

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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby Joanbunting » Thu Mar 15, 2018 3:53 pm

In France heritage vegetables are called ancient vegetables (a l'ancienne) Even more offputting I think. However a carrot salad with 3 or 4 different coloured varieties included is rather attractive

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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby jeral » Thu Mar 15, 2018 5:05 pm

Sakkarin wrote:Ha!

I've not really appreciated Jay Ray in the past, but I think I may be warming to him!

He was on Masterchef the other day - anyone who saw it, has he put a huge amount of weight on recently? He seems a lot larger these days than I remember. Or was I just not paying attention?

Can't say I noticed, but I guess he didn't put on weight at the cafe he reviewed ;)

I had high hopes for the water crust pie from a competitor on Masterchef that seemingly was made very well plus it's probably a dying art, but sadly the "Wot no jelly?" and inappropriate filling proved its downfall :(

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Re: Bad Restaurant Reviews

Postby Stokey Sue » Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:23 pm

Joan
A couple of my local shops sell mixed French heritage tomaties, Prince de Bretagne, Les Saveurs d' Antan - the flavours of yore

The accompanying booklet (one in every crate, so I have put a spare on my fridge) lists thirteen specific varieties that may be included, though there is a selectionof 5 or 6 available at any time

Very good IMO

Should you make a borscht recipe that includes carrots, use purple ones if you can - I discovered by accident that as the two purples (beets and carrots) are different molecukes, you get a much more apoealing colour :)

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